Prehistoric Weekend

Okay, this might seem completely insane, but in the Summer of 2002 JJ actually got us to
spend a weekend in a prehistoric village in Eindhoven .... which also turned out to be an open air museum ...
with us as the main attraction !


DPRP goes Prehistoric


Written by Ed Sander,
with additional notes by Derk van Mourik, Remco Schoenmakers and Bart Jan van der Vorst

Saturday morning 9:45 myself and DPRP mates Derk and Bart Jan arrived at the prehistoric open air museum in Eindhoven. One of the care-takers of the property, who had been bothered by some other visitors who wanted to park their car on the grounds, led us to our area of the park. This 'well tempered' gentleman made it more than clear that he 'hated people that couldn't walk'. My joke that he shouldn't be so hard on folks in wheelchairs did not really improve his mood. ;-)

Before long we met the rest of the 20 'clan members', including DPRP team members Rob and Remco, as well as team member Jan-Jaap and some other familiar faces (Nicole, Olga, Samantha), and several new faces. We all had to exchange our 'normal' clothing for old rags and/or cow and sheep skins, to become authentic inhabitants of the age referred to as 'the iron age' (being 750 BC). For some of us this turned into a real improvement, while for others the change was hardly noticeable. To give you an impression, by simply putting on some sunglasses, some of us were able to easily transform from prehistoric folks into hippies from the sixties' Summer of Love. No wonder the Romans were scared shitless when they met these folks for the first time when arriving in the area that's now Eindhoven. ;-)

Our guide for the weekend showed a striking resemblance to that old TV star Catweazle, including goatee and weird Asterix like ponytails in his hair and in desperate need of a shower. He turned out to be a very friendly geezer nevertheless, and absolutely obsessed with everything prehistoric. During the weekend he gave us several tours through the area, which included several loam farms, baking ovens, areas for chopping wood, campfires and let's not forget the meeting area with the holy tree which (seemingly) housed the greatest god of them all, Wodan himself. Besides the prehistoric area, the museum's property also housed a new Middle Age area, including a authentic inn. On our side of the park, which was originally set up as a scientific experiment to recreate the prehistoric age, no such catering service could be found. Instead, we had to make all our food ourselves.

This turned out to become the day's most important task; making sure that you had something to eat in the evening and the next morning. All camp activity was focused on this all-important goal and soon we found ourselves chopping wood for the fires, making clay-balls to seal the oven, grinding corn into flour, kneading dough and actually baking our own four breads. And that was just for next day's breakfast. When the bread was in the oven the clan continued making vegetable soup and a weird combination of corn, vegetables and bacon for supper. Not to mention the big bowl of suspicious tea which seemed to have everything in it that grew in the area. It's amazing how much man hours went into all of this and it made me realize that the prehistoric man would have little time left to do anything other than work and trying to stay alive (which, in most cases, would only succeed for 30-40 years !).

While we were working away on the chopping, grinding and kneading, some of the women of the clan (how traditional) made some fine pancakes for the whole group. By the time supper was cooking on the campfires we continued to repair the clan's farm, which had several gaping holes in it. Before long, yours truly was covered up to his armpits in clay.

When we heard that last year, one of our clan members who had done this before, had sneaked of the grounds in a canoe to buy beer, we made the quick decision to make some drastic measurements this time, resulting in buying 10 bottles of honey wine (mead) from the museum's souvenir shop, to be added to the stock of alcohol some others had already brought with them. The first of these bottles were opened around dinner time, while midnight found us consuming the last remaining drops.

The time in between supper - which looked absolutely horrendous but tasted quite well and has since 750 BC survived in some student houses - and midnight were filled with conversations, cleaning the dishes and pans (extremely hard without warm water and detergents !) prehistoric games ('bikkelen') and music. Rob and Remco had both brought their acoustic guitars, while BJ had brought a real didgeridoo and some toms. Add to this several other old percussion instruments, an old bull's horn and a group of mead-consuming prog rock aficionados and you've got all the ingredients for an evening of fine music. The complete setlist of the evening which BJ wrote down is simply too long to include in this e-mail, mainly because we didn't play more than a couple of chords of most songs. Some highlights of the evening were Genesis' Dancing With The Moonlight Knight, Script for a Jester's Tear, Another Brick in the Wall (part 2) (with yours truly attempting to recreate the bass line on acoustic guitar), Suzanne (VOF de Kunst), Hotel California (with Remco and Rob on guitar, BJ on several prehistoric drums and myself doing lead vocals) and Rob's broad collection of old Dutch golden oldies.
Also Remco did a very convincing take on the acoustic guitar part of Floyd's Is There Anybody Out There, whereas the first song we managed to play in its entirety was Yes' Soon. Another highlight was Arena's Crying For Help part VIII, with great vocals in the chorus, and finally our take on disco classic Staying Alive which became some sort of Rammstein version. Just imagine, someone's trying to play Staying Alive and instead of 'ha, ha, ha, ha, Staying Alive, Staying Alive', there's this whole group of grunting lads going 'Die ! Die ! Die ! Die ! Don't Stay Alive ! Don't Stay Alive !'
Hilarious !

The absolute classic of the evening had to be the recurring interpretations of Remco's brand new composition Ed, zijn de bananen gaar? (Ed, are the bananas done?, referring to the evening's dessert). This brilliant piece of songwriting has the obvious potential to become next year's big Carnaval hit. We anxiously await Remco's final version. (side note by Derk: "You will recall that both the lyrics and the first version of this composition were mine, so I think a co-credit for me is in order! :)")
(side note by Remco: "Well maybe it's the wine, but I am convinced I made up the thing? The lyrics I can give you part of the credit for, because I am not 100% sure, but don't mess with my genius G-C-G composition!!!")

All of this didn't just scare away half of our own clan - in all honesty, this first every performance of this line-up was clearly about quantity, not quality - it also kept the folk musicians of the Middle Ages well at bay. Around midnight we all hit the sack, being sleeping bags on hay covered benches. The wine had done it's work and it might have been more a thing of 'losing consciousness' than actually sleeping ....... Only to be woken again at 4 o'clock by the town's infamous rooster. Damn bastard! Kept me awake for most of the night, wriggling about in all kinds of uncomfortable positions while trying not to kick any of my 'roommates', although I probably kept everybody awake in those few moments that I slept by thunderous snoring (a hay-fever attack of the previous evening had completely clogged up my nose). Rise and shine .... well make that faintly shimmer, at nine in the morning to sample the bread we had made the day before (though not before fighting off a hangover with an aspirin, I know that's cheating but the town's druid was on vacation). The bread wasn't bad at all (by now we'd eat anything) and in combination with some eggs and bacon prepared over one of the campfires, all the ingredients of a good start of the day were there. And then it was back to chopping, grinding and kneading. Blimey, what a live ..... makes you appreciate your modern appliances all the more. After arriving home I must have spent several minutes hugging my dear old friend .... the microwave oven. ;-)

Lunch featured small breads filled with various ingredients like unions, cheese, apple, etc. Rob even made himself a real pizza ! During all of this we were watched by the visitors of the museum, who freely wandered about. We should have done the most sensible thing that any prehistoric clan would have done while being approached by a strange or hostile other clan; throw stones at them. ;-)

Anyway, after lunch we basically had the choice of either staying until 5 o'clock (which would probably mean even more chopping, grinding and kneading!) or clean up and sneak out before the planned sacrifices to the Gods would take place. We opted fort the first option and around 3 o'clock we walked out into the modern world again.

I'm absolutely knackered when I type this and the only thing I want this evening is some cold beer, a warm bath and a clean bed. The experience was one to cherish and I wouldn't have missed it for a thing in the world. We had loads of fun and the whole event actually taught us quite a lot. Most important, it makes you appreciate your daily live all the more. I'll be there when we do it again .... but quite frankly, those 30 hours were enough for the rest of 2002. ;-)

BJ's notes on the setlist:

Ed hinted at my keeping a setlist, I guess that was the reviewer in me :-) But I thought it would be nice to keep track of what we came up, and looking at it, this is a dream setlist for any prog fan, really.
All songs that you find below were played, maybe not in its entirety, but at least a few recognisable notes as well as an attempt to remember the words. The DPRP band was something like this:

JJ: high vocals, higher vocals and also some low vocals occasionally
Remco: Guitar, loud vocals
Rob: Guitar, quiet vocals
Ed: Bass lines on acoustic guitar, percussion, some vocals
Derk: vocals, various imitations of keyboard and guitar solos, background noises
BJ: False vocals, grunts, assorted percussion, some didgeridoo, attempted bass, plus imitations - generally with more enthusiasm than any sense of music.

Setlist:

Ed Zijn de Bananen Gaar part I
Wish You Were Here (Pink Floyd)
Ed Zijn de Bananen Gaar part II, first impression
Is There Anybody Out There (Pink Floyd)
Ed Zijn de Bananen Gaar part II, second impression
The Perception of Johnny Punter (Fish)
Money (Pink Floyd)
Ed Zijn de Bananen Gaar part III
Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun (Pink Floyd)
In The Flesh (Pink Floyd)
Ed Zijn de Bananen Gaar part IV (de bananen zijn gaar)
Mother (Pink Floyd)
I Will Remember (?)/ I Remember Now (Queensrÿche)
Provider (IQ)
Subterranea (IQ)
Sleepless Incidental (IQ)
Waarom Fluister Ik Jouw Naam Nog? (Benny Nijman)
Dust In The Wind (Kansas)
Icarus (Kansas)
Script For A Jester's Tear (Marillion)
Kayleigh (Marillion)
Echoes (Pink Floyd)
A Whiter Shade Of Pale (Procol Harum)
Soon (Yes)
Help Me (Crying For Help part VIII) (Arena)
Tears In The Rain (Arena)
The Musical Box (Genesis)
Dancing With The Moonlit Knight (Genesis)
I Will Remember (?)
Welcome To The Machine (Pink Floyd)
Running To Stand Still (U2)
She's a Mystery To Me (Roy Orbinson)
Exit (U2)
Wondrous Stories (Yes)
U Can't Touch This! (MC Hammer)
Another Brick In The Wall pt 2 (Pink Floyd)
Have A Cigar (Pink Floyd)
Fire (Bruce Springsteen)
Nothing Else Matters (incl. Ace Of Spades) (Metallica)
In The Air Tonight (Phil Collins)
Arena Medley
Breakfast In America (Supertramp)
Rendez-Vous 6.02 (King Crimson?)
Hotel California (Eagles)
Living Next Door To Alice (Smoky)
Stand By Me (Ben E King)
Dancing With Tears In My Eyes (Ultravox)
She's Always a Woman To Me (Billy Joel)
Staying Alive (Rammstein version) (Beegees)
The Joker (Steve Miller)
House For Sale (Lucifer)
If You Wanna (?)
Your Song (Elton John)
Suzanne (VOF de Kunst)
Vriendschap (Het Goede Doel)
Ons Dorp (Wim Sonneveld)
All My Loving (?)

epilogue by Derk:

BTW: strange as it may sound, Rob's, BJ's and mine real adventure only started when we went back into civilisation. Five minutes after we boarded the train at Eindhoven (departed 16:08), there was and announcement that the train in front of us had had an accident, and that our train couldn't go on. So then we were stranded at Best station (we were thinking of seeing how you were doing, Remco, since we were in the neighbourhood anyway :).
After about 30 minutes, it became apparent that the train would probably not continue. Busses would be arranged to take us to Den Bosch, the next stop on the line. So we exited the train, and went outside the station to wait for the busses. We stood there for fifteen minutes (no bus) and then people started moving inside the station again. We thought that they must have had a reason to do so, so we followed the herd inside and there was a train that was going to Den Bosch. The train which had had the accident was standing just outside Best station, apparently unscathed. But when we saw a cloth covered form lying alongside the track, we guessed that it was a suicide attempt. Can't these people just commit suicide where they won't traumatize a train driver and delay hundreds of people, or better yet: can't they just *not* commit suicide? Anyway, we arrived in Den Bosch at around 17.35. By then we were already one hour late. The train we were in was going on to Utrecht as a local train (stopping at every street corner).
However, the announcer told us that there would be an express train arriving a bit later which would arrive in Utrecht earlier than the local train. So, we exited the local train and crossed the platform to where the express train would arrive. The local train departed, and then it was announced that the express train was delayed by ten minutes. We were then told that it would depart from another platform. So then hundreds of people were streaming of this platform, up the narrow stairs, down the stairs and to the other platform. We were barely there when the announcer said that the train would after all depart from the first platform. So then everyone had to go back to that platform again! I think it was the Dutch Railway Cooper Test or something. Anyway, the train finally arrived twenty minutes too late and departed half an hour too late (due to an unknown problem - 'An unknown solution', Rob called it). By this time, the local train, which we had been told would arrive *later* in Utrecht, was probably already there, and we were just departing Den Bosch. We finally arrived in Utrecht at 19:05, over two hours later than scheduled. It was an enervating ride through the prehistory that sometimes is the Dutch Railways.